Episode 186: Self-Discovery with Sara Katherine
Sara Katherine is a Self-Discovery Coach, podcast host for Be Your Own Badass, and the author of Your Self-Discovery Journal, I’m Awesome: Here’s Why and Be Happy. Be Calm. Be YOU. Sara's mission is to help women achieve their goals without letting people-pleasing or perfectionism get in their way, so that they can create a life they truly love. She does this through online courses, books, and her membership program the Self-Discovery Society.
In today's episode we chat all things self-discovery, people-pleasing, setting more confident goals, and Sara walks us through the 5 pillars of her new Your Self-Discovery Journal!
Links Mentioned During the Show:
Grab a copy of Sara's newest book: Your Self-Discovery Journal
Checkout Sara’s website over at Sara-Katherine.com
Follow Sara over on Instagram @coachsarakatherine & TikTok
Grab your free Life Audit Workbook
Transcript:
Sarah Steckler: I'm your host, Sarah Steckler. And today we have the amazing guest Sara Katherine joining the show. I'm so excited for you to hear from her. We're talking all about about self discovery, what it is, how it can help you build your self awareness, build confidence, and tweak, maybe some of those people pleasing skills that you might have going on in the background of your mind. Sara Katherine is an amazing Self-Discovery Coach, and she's also the host of the Be Your Own Badass Podcast. And I'm going to tell you more about her after we dive into today's episode. Thank you so much for being here. Let's go ahead and jump into it. I think you're going to love this interview so much.
Welcome to the Mindful Productivity Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Steckler, and this is the place to be to live a more mindful and productive life. If you're ready to turn daily chaos into calm and start your days with intention, then get ready to join me as we dive deep into mindful living and personal productivity. It's time to connect with your true self so you can live the life you want to live. And it all starts now.
Welcome back to the podcast, Friends. I'm super excited to share this podcast episode with you. Sara Katherine is truly a delight and she shared so many wonderful insights. I'm really excited for you to listen to this episode. So without further Ado, let me formally introduce you to Sara and then we'll go ahead and jump into today's episode. So Sara Katherine is a Self-Discovery Coach, podcast host for the Be Your Own Badass podcast, and the author of Your Self-Discovery Journal, I'm awesome here's why: Be Happy become Be You. Sara's mission is to help women achieve their goals without letting people pleasing or perfectionism get in their way so that they can create a life they truly love. She does this through online courses.
Books, and her membership program, The Self-Discovery Society. And we'll also be geeking out about Sara's new book in Detail. Today she's going to be going over the five different components of self discovery and basically walking us through a mini preview of what's inside. So let's go ahead and get into it.
Sara, I am so, so excited to have you here today on the podcast. You've been a dream person to have for a long time. So I'm glad that we finally made this work and there's so much that we are going to talk about today. But before we get into all that good stuff, I would love if you could take a minute to just introduce yourself and let everyone know who you are and what you're about and what you do.
Sara Katherine: Thank you so much. Also, you are so sweet dream. That's an honor to be here. So I'm Sara Katherine. I am a Self-Discovery Coach and author and I also host a podcast. My main mission for my coaching business currently is to help women essentially achieve their goals and create a life that they love and that feels authentically aligned for them without letting people pleasing or perfectionism get in the way. Because those I had noticed with quite a few people either in my life or that I had worked with in the past, like past students of my courses, those were two things that really was stopping them from being able to move forward or actually achieve goals and do what they want to do because they're constantly worried about other people's opinions. I think we'll go into this later, but people pleasing and perfectionism overlap pretty heavily for some people I know it does for myself. So that's why I do that. And I also have now four books published. Three of them are guided journals in the personal growth space. The one before that was something I wrote in College about my time working in the Disney College program in Florida.
So that's completely different. But then I also host a beer and badass podcast where I talk about similar things. So that's kind of a quick overview.
Sarah Steckler: So you do everything? No, I love it so much. And Congratulations again on your fourth book coming out. We're going to be talking a little bit about that towards the end of the podcast as well. And I'm Super excited to geek out about all that stuff, but I would love if you could tell us a little bit more about what self discovery really means, because I know that's like the theme of your new Journal that's coming out. And why do you think it's one of the most important and impactful parts of kind of creating the life that we really want. Yeah. So first to answer your question about what self-discovery really is.
Sara Katherine: And it's honestly to me, it's about having the true understanding of who you are, what you want, and everything in between. It's really getting to know yourself better. And that sounds pretty self explanatory, but it takes a lot of work. And the more that we are paying attention to things that are external or getting caught up in the day to day, the less we have in touch with that part of ourselves because it's very easy to get caught up in the shoulds of what we should do or things set expectations from other people, all of that kind of stuff. So having that self awareness is an absolute game changer when it comes to honestly, just in general feeling good about your life, where you're going, the choices that you're making, it helps you make decisions. Making for yourself is so much easier when you know who you are and what you want and what your values are. Also, it helps you follow your intuition, helps you reconnect with that, which helps you make those decisions, and just helps you overall build confidence and take care of yourself. And all those different pieces help you live a more authentically aligned life with you, because you know what that looks like and what that feels like overall, and that's overall how self discovery and self awareness can help achieve that.
Sarah Steckler: I love that. And I think self discovery just feels so inviting. Self awareness, too. But there's something about discovering yourself and kind of going on this journey and realizing that you're ever changing. Like, it's not like we arrived necessarily at a destination. We're like, okay, I know everything about myself and every possible situation. I'm good. So I really like how you describe that. And as we mentioned to you've, already written, I guess, three books, right. And you had one on Mindfulness for Teens, which looks really cool. And then you also have another Journal. I have it in my Amazon cart with 110 lists and reminders for others to remember why they're so amazing, which is really cool. I love lists. I geek out about that. So that must have been really fun to make as well. And so you have your newest Journal releasing soon and that we're going to talk about more in a minute. But I'd love to know what really led you to focusing specifically on self discovery and really using that as the focus on your platform, because I feel like there's so many things that you could talk about. So why did you choose that one specifically?
Sara Katherine: Well, I mean, this might be a long answer, so just preference.
Sarah Steckler: Yeah, let's go.
Sara Katherine: So this is really rooted and just like my own journey and my own experience of just honestly kind of starting life after College, like that whole experience of graduating and doing what I'm supposed to do and getting that. I mean, I still work, like I didn't mention earlier, but I have a full time job as a marketing director, but I still work in the field that I studied in and all that kind of stuff. And I still enjoy it. But I was still just kind of doing what was expected from me and the shoulders of like, oh, you should get this internship and you should get this full time job. And since it's available commute the hour, there an hour back. That's just what you do in Southern California or anywhere in the city. I was in a relationship at the time that was fine. The guy is a nice guy, but it wasn't the right relationship. But I was sticking with it because I was like, this is way better than what I've had in the past. I was settling for so much and not really paying attention to what I actually wanted to do.
So that led me to a lot of anxiety and just kind of the worst mental place that I have ever been in. And through that, I had started getting into personal development in general. I had kind of had it in my life a little bit. My dad would always be like, oh, you should do the workbook of Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, like that kind of stuff. So it's been a part of my life. But at the time it was like I rolled out I don't want to do any of this stuff. But when it was absolutely like something that I was like, okay, whatever I'm doing is not working. Then I started turning towards that. I read You Are about us. I started listening to podcasts. That was probably one of the first books that I had read in the space by my own volition. And then my therapist reminded me that I had been actually blogging all throughout College. I had a Disney blog, which is how that first book came to be. And I really liked blogging and the social media aspect because it's marketing and she recommended, hey, why don't you start another blog?
Why don't you do that again? And I just at the time was just talking about self care and career and all the different facets of personal growth. But that's such a wide spectrum. That when I started getting more serious about turning it into a business and going into more of a coaching aspect rather than blogging. I had to really sit and think what's the common core of what I enjoy teaching and what I'm passionate about and what I'm seeing is needed amongst. I personally prefer helping women, but obviously anyone similar in my similar situation at the time. And then I just came to the conclusion that self-discovery was just that theme that kept popping up because my first course ever created was called Kickstart Your Life Academy and that's where I really started at that. And my favorite part of that course was the beginning self discovery part because it just ties into all of the different pieces that you need, just like I told you about earlier. So I don't have to hash into that again. But that's pretty much how I came to that because it was something that I really enjoy and I strive to work on within myself consistently and what I like helping other people with the most.
Sarah Steckler: There was something you said specifically where I was really like, oh, that's such a good point. And it was talking about how you were in a relationship and there was nothing necessarily wrong with the relationship, but it wasn't the right thing. And I think we come to that bridge so often in our lives with different stuff. I remember I had two different Masters programs. I was a part of that I didn't end up finishing and there was nothing wrong with them. But every time I was in them, I was like, this isn't it, this isn't me. And I think that's part of the power of the work that you help people do is not just realize that there's those gut moments when you're like, this isn't for me or there's a problem with something, but I think it's actually harder to make decisions in our life or change the direction of where we're going when there's not a problem per se with a relationship or your job or whatever it is, but it just doesn't feel aligned. And I think it becomes really hard to make those decisions when you don't know why you feel the way you do.
And so it sounds like this work and like you said, really helping people understand their values, really, it gives you so much more power in making decisions and feeling confident about it because there's nothing worse than making a big decision and being like, did I make a mistake?
Sara Katherine: Yeah. And I'm notoriously an indecisive person. So reminding myself the same thing, practicing what I preach, hopefully helps remind me why certain decisions that I'm making are the right ones for me, because it's, you know, comparing it's very easy, even if I find myself doing this, like comparing my current situation with someone else who's close to me in my life, who's in a similar place in their life. But there are some pieces that I'm like, oh, it's not quite the same as that. Is that am I making the right choice? But am I settling constantly doing those check ins to make sure it is what you want and having the values and the understanding behind it will help make those decisions so much easier?
Sarah Steckler: 100%. Yeah. And that really leads me into, like, I've been most excited to talk about this, and that is your self discovery Journal, which I'm so excited about, and I can't wait to open it up and just get going. But can you basically just tell us everything about it? What are some of the core components of the Journal and maybe some of the tangible pieces within it? Yeah.
Sara Katherine: So fun fact. With literally all of my books, even the Disney one, I didn't actually think of the book idea myself. I was approached by other publishers who came. And I think a lot of publishers are doing that right now. I think they're kind of finding authors through blogs and stuff like that. But for this one in particular…
It was the third one that I've worked with Adams Media, who's from Simon and Schuster. And they came to me and they were like, oh, so we're considering doing this guided Journal that's at the time it was going to be called The Little Book of Self Discovery. And it's changed titles since then, but they didn't really have quite a concept, like something much further than that. And I don't know how much they fully understood what came with self discovery either. They just knew they had this idea and I had written for them before. And so they're like, here, this is an idea. What do you think? And I was like, hot damn, this is actually the most in line with everything that I have because writing these books takes a lot of work for me because they have really tight deadlines. So I had to really make sure it's what I wanted because after the last two, I was going to be very cautious about which ones I decided to do. But this one, I was like, look, one of my most popular podcast episode blogs is called What Is Self Discovery? It's the definition of it, and it comes with some of the stuff I talked to in the beginning here.
But I literally just sent them this blog. And I was like, what if we talk about these main five points? They're like five categories or something, and we can have a format like this, and then there's always an introduction in the beginning that breaks it down in much more detail. So that's like a really expanded piece of a blog that I have. So then they were like, yeah, that sounds great. And then wrote samples for them and XYZ, and then it worked out that way. But the main five categories that they go into are called, like, they're all called Discovering Your Blank. So each chapter is called. And then I literally have the book right here. I could probably check just in case. But the first one is about discovering your inner self. So that's like the self reflection work. Like that's the core basic self discovery, the personality test and your values. Like all the things that we've been talking about. So it's kind of that self Discovery 101 section, and each section has 50% guided Journal prompts that you actually write in there. And then 50% of them are actually things that you do in your life.
So it's not just a guided Journal. It's like, hey, next time you do this, go to a coffee shop and say no or something like that, actually go into your life and do something. And both of my past journals have that similar format. But that's the first. The inner self is the first section, then the second section is about your purpose and your passions. So it's kind of what lights you up, what you're interested in, what you find meaningful in your life. Everything like that number. Chapter three is about self love, and ultimately it's about confidence. So it's a whole chapter based on loving yourself, feeling good about yourself, and building your confidence and self esteem. Chapter four is all about motivation and time management and productivity, because self discovery is actually a huge part of that, which you probably know. But that's just really getting to know what time management techniques work well for you. That way you can test them out, organization ways to stay motivated, things like that. And then the last one is relationships with other people. So that's both friendships, like platonic relationships, but also romantic relationships, as well as that's really where I go into people pleasing and boundaries to make sure that you have healthy relationships overall and that they work well for you and you're surrounding yourself with positive people.
So those are the main core chapters. And that’s the whole breakdown of it all!
Sarah Steckler: Oh, my gosh. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of that. I feel like even just kind of knowing those pillars really gives me a good idea of what this process is like. And I'm sure everyone listening has kind of got their wheels turning, too. And also I want to touch on the fact that I just love how you're working through kind of like not only writing another book. Right. But also I love that just the collaboration. I think it's just important to remember that with things that we create in life books, podcasts, blogs, we don't necessarily need to be the only person involved in that creative process. I love that a publisher reached out to you and was like, hey, we've got this idea. It just happened to be like, probably the idea you would have written about anyway, right? Yeah. And I like how you were able to also repurpose some of your content. I think that's so smart. And I think as creatives and entrepreneurs, I think a lot of people feel like you have to constantly reinvent the wheel, or if we're going to talk about something, it has to be, like, brand new and revolutionary without realizing that humans have been around for a long time, and it's relatively new that we have the Internet and we have books and all that kind of stuff.
But most of the ideas that we have are nuanced and familiar to other people, but it's the way that we portray them and put our own spin on those things. And so I just want to share out that. I really love that you're saying, hey, I'm repurposing some of this content. These are some of the things I already wrote. How can I incorporate and expand on them? And I think that's really like, it's just a really lovely lesson there. I love that, too. And actually, I've talked about this on the podcast too before, but that's a similar thing happened to me with my 100 Life Challenges book. So I actually had a whole blog post with a bunch of challenges, and they were like, do you want to turn this into a book? And I was like, I never even thought of that. It's a really cool idea. And for any bloggers out there, don't be afraid to get into publishing, because I think there's a lot of really cool information out there that people could share. So I love all this, and I'm Super excited to dive into it. And I think one of the most powerful aspects of this has to do with boundaries, too.
And I think really getting clear on what your own boundaries are, but also how to facilitate them. And I know that that really ties into people pleasing a lot. And so I was wondering maybe if you could share what are some of the ways that people could create awareness around people pleasing tendencies? Where do you think this might stem from? Or where does it stem from, do you think in yourself?
Sara Katherine: Yeah. So where it comes from can be a variety of reasons depending on the person's situation. For me personally, it came from actually a mix of experiences in high school and stuff like that, because I'm a huge high achiever, like constantly trying to do the best I can always. And a lot of that comes from this is where the perfectionism and the people please and coincide for me because I was a part of a very, very small high school, literally 90 people in my class. So all the teachers knew all the students, everyone knew everything about you. And there was that expectation put on me that I perceived that from teachers and the counselors. There basketball coaches for me to always do my best in that way. And if I wasn't, I was disappointing them. So a lot of what I was starting to decide to do in high school came more from worrying that I disappoint other people rather than what I wanted to do. So that's kind of where some of my people please and came out. I'm just naturally a more empathetic person. So I don't like hurting other people's feelings. That's just something that's been a part of my life forever.
Because I started, like, being a part of clubs, either joining clubs or leading clubs in my senior year in high school, specifically because some of the advisors or something of the school were like, oh, you should do this. You should do this. We would like you to do this. And I was just like, okay, I guess if no one else is, what else am I supposed to do? I was like, let's disagree with the fact that I'm taking AP classes and on the basketball team and doing all this other stuff already, all of that, that's kind of where it stemmed. And then that carried on into College. And when I worked at Disney, like working my way up in the attractions, but working up into a leadership position, which was a position I didn't actually care for. At the end of the day, it was more because the managers were like, oh, this is good. So I didn't want to disappoint them. So for me, that's where it comes from. But I know there are other people where it might be a much more complex, deeper thing, like from family members or parents or complicated relationships in that way.
But a way that you can become aware of it is, I'd say, just starting by trying to listen to your intuition a little bit more and by really thing coming down to like, because a lot of people please are known for being yes people and because you don't want to disappoint someone else and because you don't have strong boundaries in place to be able to say no. So then all those other pieces of people pleasing start piling in, of taking on too much, not being able to take time for yourself, not being able to do the things that you actually want to do. You don't even know what you want to do anymore because you're so caught up in meeting everyone else's expectations and not wanting to disappoint other people. So if you become aware of how you feel, just like the general, and if you haven't been tuning into your intuition much lately, which if you're caught up in the weeds of people pleasing, you probably haven't. So it's literally just like making that space of when you say yes or no, just notice how you feel. You can just keep saying yes if that's the habit you have right now.
But the first step would be like, okay, does this feel good or not? Is this what I actually want to do or not? And then the more you notice that, you'll be able to kind of be like, okay, now I'm aware. How do I break the pattern? Like, where do I go from here? And some other signs could be like, you're feeling drained when you're around certain people because you just are always saying yes to plans with them or hanging out with them or supporting them in some way. Are you compromising values or goals that you have? Like, have you been able to prioritize anything that you want to do because you're doing everything for everyone else? Or are you caring too much about other people's opinions? Is someone being disappointed in you or maybe a little uncomfortable from you saying no? Is that overshadowing? You making a decision for yourself? Do you just simply not want to upset anyone? These are all things that you can ask yourself and that could point you towards. Yeah, I'm a people pleaser, right.
Sarah Steckler: If this sounds like you people pleasing might be your life. That's right. Yeah. Well, and that's what I really appreciate, you breaking this down because I think a lot of us, I know for me, there have been chunks of time in my life where I'm like, I don't believe they're like, I do whatever I want. And then looking back, I'm like, oh, maybe I wasn't necessarily a people pleaser, but I was like an expectation, like wanting to meet the expectations. Right. It's kind of similar, you know, wanting to play by the rules and do everything right. And I was very similar in high school too. I was the 4.0 student. I was also on the basketball team and we could have been like friends. I did all these things that externally got me all that validation. And the teachers are like, fair. I got it together. And then College hit. And when there's more and more and more piling on, I remember the first time I ever actually failed the class was like a class of dinosaurs, which I was like, this is going to be so cool, but dinosaur names are hard to memorize. And I had taken on so much more.
I actually ended up failing the class. And I remember feeling like, what this is so not me. But I think that can be a result of if we don't keep ourselves in check with people pleasing tendencies and what our capacity is, then we can find ourselves in situations like that where it's like something's got to give. And I think this is a great segue to into doing that or changing that pattern. Like you said, it can be uncomfortable at first, but over time, you're going to build that self efficacy, you're going to trust in yourself more, you're going to build more confidence. And I was wondering if maybe you could talk a little bit about how confidence really impacts our goal setting strategies and like the outcomes we end up with. Because I know you talk a lot about goal setting and you've got a lot of really good insights on that. And yeah, I think it'd be interesting to hear how confidence might impact those decisions we make in that.
Sara Katherine: Yeah. So overall, I personally believe that having more confidence in yourself and the decisions that you make and having more confidence in those decisions can help you make that effort to achieve your goal. Take those steps forward, because if you're not, you're probably going to be finding any excuse possible to not do something. I know when I was first getting into my job, it's very easy to be like, well, I don't know what I'm doing, so I'm just going to wait and see what other people say. You might be waiting for either some external validation or what have you in order to actually take action. But if you feel more confident, then you'll feel more confident in yourself to do something. And then you're also not as afraid of failure, because the more you're trying something, the more you're learning from it. And fear of failure is a whole other topic I could get into. But it's just your fear of failure will diminish because you are more confident in yourself to be able to react or respond, adjust to be able to do to achieve the goals that you have. So they kind of build upon each other.
I feel because is also the more you take action, the more confident that you'll feel. And at least that's my experience and what I've noticed in my clients. But an overall you'll be more confident to look for the opportunities rather than making excuses not to take the risk to move forward. So that's how I feel that they're aligned in that way. Yeah.
Sarah Steckler:
And I also know, too, the more confident we feel, the bigger goals will set or like the stretch goals will start to look a little bit bigger. I remember when I was running all the time, something that I'm looking to get back into. I remember just, like, never thinking that I could run so fast or whatever. And I remember one day getting on the treadmill and getting over 7 miles an hour and being like, I never thought that was possible. Right.
But every day I would kind of push myself a little bit further and a little bit further, and you really realize what you're actually capable of. And like you said, it all builds on each other. So I think that's so important. And really to that reminder to start from where you are. I think sometimes we can trip ourselves up if we try to. Like, if I were to get on the treadmill now, I'd be like 7 miles an hour after this pan. No, it would not be good. I would break all my legs and it would be bad. But if I really gave myself permission to start from where I am and build, my confidence would build right. And slowly I get back there. So I really love how you broke that down. So another question I want to ask you, and I'm just, like, super curious about this, too. So someone who has now written four books and journals, how do you go about setting your own goals with something like that? Or in general, I'm breaking those down into actionable steps when you have such a big project like that.
Sara Katherine: Yeah. And just for context, for this most recent book, I believe I had two months to write it.
Sarah Steckler: Wow.
Sara Katherine: Yeah. The confidence one, I'm awesome one I had longer than that. But that's because I had asked for it. And I was new to that format, the guided Journal format. And then after doing it twice before this time, I knew how to approach it a lot more. So I do have, like, the system down for tackling these guided journals because they always have a certain amount of exercises, prompts, what have you that are needed in the book as a whole. And then I have the deadlines, and then I have how many I need per section. And then I have how many days I have to do it. So I would just break it down just logistically by numbers, I would take it.
I have 100, just for lack of better name, but 100 activities I need to write. And there's five sections. So break it up into five. That's like 60 each. I really hope I'm doing that right. And so that's 60 sections each. Each section needed to be 50% written in, 50% activity in your life. So 30 each. So 30 per section. And then I needed to have a certain amount done by certain I had like two or three deadlines that I had to have a certain amount sent in. So I just calculated how many I needed to do per day by the deadlines that I had. And then I would make sure I literally had an Excel spreadsheet where I would fill in color and it was in the highlight. Actually, I broke it down in a highlight on my Instagram under this book number four highlight, but I made it green if I did it. So I would visually be able to see that I'm making progress. And then I would put in how many exercises I did each day so it would automatically adjust how many I needed to do each day, because sometimes I could only do, like, two.
Sometimes I was on a roll and I did six, so it would adjust the daily average, and I would be able to keep an eye out for how much it would potentially build on me if I didn't keep up with it. And so it was a lot of just sitting down and doing it because I did not have much room to be flexible. And at the time, I was gaining enough momentum with my coaching business. Like, I had been in a group program and to get the foundation set in place a lot more, especially with the direction that I was going. And I didn't want to give that up. And I work full time, and somehow I have a life outside of that. Maybe, who knows? Was still just like, okay, I know I need at least 30 minutes or so a day to do it and then broke it down from there. So I had a whole chart system thing just based on deadlines and number of exercises I need to write and just followed it from there.
Sarah Steckler: I love this so much. Like, I'm totally geeking out about this. I feel like I need to create a chart like that for when I check out books from the library because I'll do this thing where I'll be like, okay, I've checked out a good idea, six books, and they're all due in, like 15 days. And I'm like, I can totally do that. And then TikTok happens and stuff. I need to set better self boundaries with that. But sometimes what I'll do is I'll count up all the page numbers in a book, and then I'll divide that by how many days I have. And it's always like some ridiculous number that never happens. Oh, you just have to read 287 pages a day and then you'll finish every book. But I love the idea of really just. I think it's important to remember just the idea of really breaking things down and looking at numbers and data and making it simple in that way. Because I think that's something that I think a lot of us might think of doing. But the fact that you actually created an Excel sheet and made it all color, like, oh my gosh, I'm going to have to look that up in the highlight.
Sara Katherine: I'm an Enneagram one. So anything that is structured and charged. I hate numbers. I like the visual structure to things like that.
Sarah Steckler: Well, I think too, you really bring up a great point about visually seeing your progress, because one of the hugest factors about motivation is like knowing that we're doing something and then we're actually getting a result from it. I think it's why people like when you do fundraisers or something and they always have that big thermometer and they're like, this is how far we are reaching our goal. Right. Like, as we see our progress, we get more inspired to continue to take action. So that's great. And also realizing that you took in perfect action. Right. Not every day was the exact same number of tasks or whatever you were writing, but overall, over time, it averaged out. So I just love how you did that. Thank you for sharing that. Of course, the other thing I really wanted to ask you, I think this is a good question to round things out is when it comes to goal setting, I think it can be really easy or tempting to only focus on the external goals, the things that look good on the outside, the things that we get praised for. So how do you make time for the external stuff, but also the intrinsic goal setting and maybe what are some tips that you can give others to help them embrace both types of goals?
Sara Katherine: Yeah. And that's something that it's good that you say that because it's also hard for people to visually see the progress that they've made with that because I had a student that I was helping last year and I was helping her, reminding her, like, hey, these are the things that you've done. And she's like, I forgot. I'm like, this is the progress, this is what you're doing. And then you don't realize just how much progress that you're making, unless maybe it's written down or someone's telling you for that really quick. So people can know writing things down is huge, like doing life audits or something like journaling, even if it's like or just a voice note on your phone. If you're not a writing person, just like how you're feeling today or your goal that you're at where you're currently at and checking in on that, but also asking your friends like, hey, how have you noticed that I've grown or changed in XML, like this year or something like that can be really impactful because you might be surprised what they say. But I know that's not exactly what you asked, but you want to put that.
Sarah Steckler: I love that. That's a great point. Yeah.
Sara Katherine: And then so for me personally, the reason why I prioritize that inner work more so rather than the things that look external is because of pretty much what I told you earlier. With my experience with my anxiety and my mental health, it got to a point where I didn't really have a choice. I had to, or else I wasn't doing anything good for me nothing was working out. I knew that I had to tune into that. And when I needed to be able to just feel good in general, I knew I had to prioritize my mental health and my intrinsic goals in order to feel good overall. And so that's why I've been working on my self awareness and my self care. Like, that all helps the rest of my life. And I know that helps the rest of my life. So if I feel like there's one area of my life that feels like it's a complete disaster or whatever, I know that I can tune into, you know, okay, how am I actually feeling? Where is this coming from? Tap into the things that I know work well for me and the check ins that work well for me to be able to assess, okay, if I take care of this part of me, it's going to help that or I know I can handle it because I'm reflecting on how I've handled similar situations or just trusting my instincts that I can make decisions to help address that situation, if that makes sense.
I have some notes here.
Sarah Steckler: No, you're fine. I was going to just say real quick too. I think a lot of times when I'm feeling, like, off, like mentally or whatever, or I start having more intrusive thoughts or whatever, and I'm like, everything sucks in the world, then I have to remember there's so much more in our scope of control than we often realize. And oftentimes I want some brand new, flashy, fun way of helping myself so I avoid the things I know work. Like, I know I can drink water. I know if you go on a stupid walk for my stupid mental health, I know that. But I want something different, right? I don't always want to come back for whatever reason. I don't always want to come back to these things. And I think when you're also in that space, it's hard to get yourself to do the things that, you know, you just feel stubborn. I hate dealing with myself in that state. Just like, Sara, if you just go outside, you're going to feel so much better. And so I think it's really important that I love the fact that you've said that you have these checklists or you have a life audit or something like that that you can do and come back to and really ask yourself, like, you know, how am I feeling?
Like, what's the narrative that I'm creating for today? Like, how many of these thoughts are actually true and in factual and so really coming back to that is so powerful. And I know I just totally took the mic from you when you were going through.
Sara Katherine: My main tip just to piggyback off of that is for anyone else that's not used to prioritizing the intrinsic things is just make time to check in with yourself. Even if it's five minutes. Like, even if it's once a week, it can be super small. It doesn't have to be this huge thing. You don't have to do a big thing and hire a coach and do all this stuff. I mean, it's also great, but it's really so small to just check in with yourself and see how you're feeling. And that could be going on walks. It could be journaling, it could be meditating for five minutes doing yoga, just something that creates space so that you're not thinking of a million things at once and not paying attention to that. Because, for example, something very recent for me is we're currently planning a wedding and looking at all the venues and the pricing and, oh my freaking God, everything is so expensive. And so I found myself getting super caught up and anxious and like, this is too much. There's nothing here. Can we even do what we want? And a lot of it was me being like, wait, then we had to be like, wait, what's important?
You're getting married? And for me, like, the fact that we get married, for us, there was one particular venue we had in mind that we could afford. And then having the specific people there, that's the baseline of it all. And so having to pay attention to what was happening there and paying attention to what's important, but also noticing that, like, hey, my anxiety is going over here. My brain is going over here. So I had to make sure to step back and either have conversations with my partner or simply just take that time myself to chill was really beneficial to be able to kind of steer back on the course and not go off the walls about it all.
Sarah Steckler: Yeah, well, and I love that example too, because when it comes to event planning or even like, if you're launching something in your business, I think we always have the idea of how we want it to go. And we focus oftentimes on all these things that we actually can't really control. Like, I mean, you can hire the caterer and you can blah, blah, blah, blah. But if something comes out a little bit differently than you thought, we can choose to get super upset or we can be like, okay, it is what it is. And I think a lot of times for entrepreneurs too, you're creating something, you're putting something out into the world and you have this idea of how it might be received or what might happen. And if it doesn't happen the way you think, we often get into like, okay, we failed or, well, then this isn't good or everything's ruined. And I really liked how you were like, you basically invite yourself back into what was the ultimate goal of this. Why did we choose to do this in the first place? What is the most important thing? And I think whether it's planning a wedding or launching a course or whatever it may be, really reminding yourself of what the overall goal is.
It's just such a wonderful way to come back to kind of grounding yourself in that moment.
Sara Katherine: Yeah. Launching a course or launching anything in the business is a fantastic example, because I'd be lying if I didn't say that launches don't haven't freaked me out in the past. I don't know a single person who has gone through, like, a launch and not had those doubts, not had those concerns, those anxieties because of what's so out of your control. It's such a shift in a different perspective and situation that you're putting yourself through. It's new. You're putting yourself out there, you've put so much work into it. And then if only one person or no or whatever, so few people sign up, it's so easy to just be like, I give up. Done. Like, this is the only time I'm going to do this. Yeah, I've done that in the past. I have those moments where I'm like, this didn't turn out how I wanted. I'm never doing this course again. And looking back, it was stupid. People bought it. It was true. It was a small amount of people, but also I was a newer person. So it's, of course, much easier to say in retrospect, but having those things in mind, it's like, okay, what's the most important thing?
And something that my therapist has been reminding me lately, whenever I get caught up in the expectations of business and everything like that is like, okay, why do you do what you do? What is it? Why do you, like helping people in this way? And then whenever I tell her, she's like, okay, your energy just drastically shifted. And anytime you do something, make sure you come from that place, any decision that you make, make sure you come from that more excited, passionate place, rather than because you need to do it or should do it. Because obviously there's things you will need to do, like taxes. And that sucks. But not making decisions out of haste and worry and the need for control. And that's something I've been trying to take with myself, too, throughout.
Sarah Steckler: I've totally done that, too. It's basically like I've opened the door and be like, does anybody want donut? Fine. No one. Okay, whatever. I haven't given you people a chance to think about. Do I want a donut? I don't know. I really just relate to that a lot. And Sara, I just want to thank you so much for being here today and for sharing all of your wisdom about self discovery and boundaries and so much. I feel like this is going to be an episode I come back to and listen to as well. And I just would love for you to share. Where can people find out more about you? Where can people follow you on Instagram? How can they get your self discovery Journal? Let us know yeah, for sure.
Sara Katherine: So first of all thank you. It's been a pleasure as well. And then you can find me. I'm primarily on Instagram but I'm also on TikTok occasionally. I mean for fun I'm on there all the time. Let's be real. But my username is at coach Sara Katherine that's Sara with no H and Katherine with a K and then also my website Saracathrin.com and then my book is called your self discovery Journal and you can search that on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, anything like that. Honestly if you just search that and search put like Sara in there, it'll probably come up on Google but awesome.
Sarah Steckler: Yeah, we'll have links to everything in the show notes below this episode as well. So again thank you just so much for being here. It's so good to see your face and talk with you and everyone go follow Sara so you can learn more about self discovery.
Sara Katherine: Thank you so much.
Sarah Steckler: Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of the Mindful productivity podcast. As always, you can find links to everything we mentioned during the show over mindful productivity podcast. Make sure to go check out Sara, Katherine's new self defense Journal and grab your copy and like always, I will see you back here next Monday for a new episode of the show.
Have a great week!
