Episode 206: 11 Permission Slips for Your Life & Biz

21 Aug

Tired of feeling stuck, judged, and down on yourself? Yeah wtf, let’s change that! Today I’m sharing a list of “permission slips” to give yourself in your life and biz. We make too many rules for ourselves, destroying our happiness and progress all at once. Let’s carve a path forward that feels better!

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Transcript:

You're listening to Episode 206 of The Mindful Productivity Podcast, and I'm your host, Sarah Steckler. This week, we're talking about permission slips that you can give your sofa your life and business. If you're tired of feeling stuck, judged, and down on yourself, then let's change that. I feel like too often in our lives, instead of doing things that bring us happiness or making decisions in our business that we want to make, we instead question and self-doubt starts creeping in and we go, Who am I to do that? Can I really do that? Now, a lot of these things aren't going to be brand new to you, but I guarantee that a lot of them are going to be things that you need to be reminded of here again and maybe some of them for the first time. So keep on listening to this week's episode. I think you're going to find it invigorating, validating, and inspiring to get you back on track, trusting in yourself so that you can live the life and run the business of your dreams. All right, that was a little cheesy, but let's get into this week's episode. Welcome to the Mindful Productivity Podcast.

I'm your host, Sarah Steckler, and this is the place to be to live a more mindful and productive life. If you're ready to turn daily chaos into calm and start your days with intention, then get ready to join me as we dive deep into mindful living and personal productivity. It's time to connect with your true self so you can live the life you want to live. And it all starts now. Hello, friends. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm really excited this week to talk about these permission slips. I've written out about 11 of them that we can go through today. I think they're just a great reminder of how we can really get in our own way, in our heads. Sometimes it's nice to remember, Oh, there's actually a way forward here. I don't have to be stuck. I don't have to think these specific things, and I don't have to make these specific rules. I think also it's the reminder that we can be human and that it's totally okay. By the way, a very human experience that I had while back, I thought this was so silly and funny. My neighbor here had asked me to grab a couple of her packages while she went out of town for the weekend with her family.

I did that. And I was creeping over there when Amazon went over there and stuff and brought her packages back over to my house. And then they came back on a Sunday afternoon and I saw them pull up. I grabbed the couple of Amazon packages and walked over there. And I had just washed my hands. I was like, running around the house. I washed my hands. I did that thing where you don't completely dry your hands. You just slap your hands on your pants. You're like, Oh, this will do. I went over there. My neighbor, I see her all the time, but I never have met her husband. Both of our husbands deploy and stuff like that. And so her husband answered the door and I go, Oh, hi, I'm Sarah. I have your packages. And he was like, Oh, great, that's so nice. And then he goes, Hi, I'm so and so. And he extends his hand and I froze because my hands were still wet because I did the pants lap thing. And so I just gave him my hand and it was very wet. And I was like, Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm so sorry my hands are wet.

Please let me explain. I was like, I just washed them and I didn't dry them all the way. I just did the thing where you just rubbed them on your pants. Okay, bye. And I ran away. But I thought it was interesting in that moment because I allowed myself to be fully human. I immediately texted my neighbor, too, and I was like, Oh, I just met your husband, and he's going to think I'm a psycho. And we were laughing about it for a very long time. But it's like, obviously, I wasn't expecting to shake anybody's hand, right? But I just think it's fun to look at how we allow ourselves to get embarrassed or not be human or think that we're the only ones that ever do weird things or that have these very human moments when really we're all that way. And I love it when that just shines through and we just allow ourselves to have those moments. So I wrote, like I usually do, a little list in my little Notion podcast format here. And so I thought we'd just go ahead and start going through these. So there's 11 of them, and some of them are going to overlap.

But the first one is the permission slip to make messy mistakes. I think, especially as a business owner, it's really scary in the online space to do stuff and worry like, what if I make a mistake? Or what if I do something or create a product and a student has a question and I don't know the answer? Just remembering that we can do things and we can make mistakes. And we can also say, I don't know, and it's totally okay. And also I think that it's important to remember that you can make mistakes and hold yourself accountable at the same time. It doesn't go like accountability and doing the right thing online or whatever. You don't have to be perfect to do that. I think we can learn together in the online space. And I think we're in a very interesting transition where I think people are starting to understand that. With call out culture and stuff like that, people can, and it depends, I'm not going to speak to specifics, but I think we're starting to see people can make mistakes online, people can do things and other people can say, hey, there's a better way to do this, whether it's more efficient or more ethical or whatever.

Here's the invitation to what that might look like. And so I think beyond all that, though, it's permission to make messy mistakes in your life, too, right? You're not going to improve your skills or learn things without getting messy, right? I mean, kids are a great example of that. And very few people, I think, are expecting you to do things as perfectly as you think you should do them. And change in your life and great change in our society also comes from very messy conversations. Just remembering that I don't want to go on this whole other side tangent, but I think there's a lot of conversations that need to happen in our world and online. And I think we could more easily have them if people weren't constantly worried about being perfect with everything they say. I hope that makes sense. The second permission slip is permission to do things imperfectly. So this is similar, right? But even today, I'm recording this podcast. I've got a little bit of an almost cold. I don't know how else to explain it. My nose is almost runny. I don't feel that stuffy, but I can tell my voice is a little different.

And I'm recording on my laptop versus using my wonderful yeti mic. And I'm doing things imperfectly, right? And this comes down to so much stuff. I think there's this pressure for things to always be the highest quality or the highest caliber. And don't get me wrong, I'm a big believer in quality over quantity. But if the quality of what you want prevents you from taking the action that you need to take, then I think it's worth taking the risk of reducing that quality, right? I'm talking specifically like the audio quality of this podcast or the way something might look esthetically on a social media post. The way the kitchen might look, the kitchen is not completely clean, but you got dinner made, right? The dishes aren't done, but you accomplished a meal for the evening, right? I think we need to come back to the fact that it's okay to do those things imperfectly. How do we look online? What we were to the grocery store? Even big things I've done in my business like publishing planners, I decided to do stuff in an imperfect way without waiting for things to be... Without waiting for thousands of dollars to appear in my bank account or waiting until I made that happen to order inventory for these very specific planners I wanted with this very specific material.

Instead, I just decided to do it my way through self-publishing. So do things imperfectly, it's okay. Doing things imperfectly often gets you to create that momentum and take that action that you wouldn't otherwise take. The next one is permission to reinvent yourself at any time that you want. I think we're all in the Taylor Swift craze right now. I always think she's a great example of, I mean, she's also an anomaly, but just continually reinventing herself and her music. And I think there's also pressure in the celebrity world to do that, and that's not what I'm talking about. But when you think of your life, I think this also gives permission to the fact that you're going to reinvent yourself whether you choose to or not. You're going to have different chapters and seasons of your life, and your business is also going to reflect that. And it's not worth constantly comparing yourself to your past self or your future self because you're constantly evolving and changing, so are your life circumstances and all those things. So reinventing yourself can mean so many different things. It can mean reinventing or restarting the habits and the routines that you have in your daily life.

It can mean your business model. It can mean the way you live your life. There are many different ways I've lived my life in the past. I mean, literally, from living in a city to living out in the country, but also the extremes of different values I've held, beliefs I've held, those things. It's going to change over time. So give yourself permission to reinvent yourself. The next one, we talk about this all the time. We, me, you, everybody. Permission to change your mind. Man, this one I think is the hardest one. Permission to change your mind because I think we know that we're allowed to do that, but we're worried that we shouldn't. It's like the big should permission slip, but we shouldn't change our mind. But I already committed. For an example, I'll give you some of mine, but I already enrolled in a master's program, and I'm already in the first quarter paying for doing it. I shouldn't change my mind and drop out. I did. I did that twice with two different masters programs, actually. I took a new job and it sucks. I have an interview for another job. And if I get that interview, I think I'm going to take that job and quit this job.

I've done that, too. I think there's things like that that affect other people and those are harder. And obviously there's a delicate balance of managing those things. But then there's also the changing your mind with bigger stuff or even just day to day like, Oh, it's the weekend. And Saturday, I'd love to get up and go do this thing or go to a new park or go on a hike. And then you wake up and you're like, You know, man, I would really just rather get some donuts and make some coffee and hang out with my spouse and my dog and read and play a bunch of video games. But now I made this rule that I should have went hiking instead, right? Give yourself permission to change your mind and know that you can't always make the best decision for yourself or for your circumstances ahead of time. And sometimes it's just going to have to be when you're in the moment. So great, maybe you want to go hiking this week, but permission to change your mind if your energy level is different, if your circumstances are different, or if you just plain want to do something different.

The next one is, permission to not know and still try things. So this is similar to doing messy things, right? I'm making mistakes, but permission to not know and still try at things. There are endless resources out there. There are courses you can buy. There are people you can hire to try new things, whether it be cooking, like there's cooking classes, or there's books you can buy on meditation. You can also just try them by yourself. You can go to the gym and look at the weight machines like I do and just start using them without knowing, just by reading the instructions on there, permission to go to the gym and not know how you're going to use the machines. I said like, Morty, Unric and Morty, permission to go to the gym and I'm going to look just... It's a great time. I'm going to look at the machines and I'm not going to know how to use them. And it's going to be fine. But seriously, stuff like that. It's permission to go into a new situation and not know anyone and not know if you're going to like it, man, that's a good one.

Permission to not know and still try things. The next one, permission to not follow a path. Oh, this is good. This is really good. And I feel like a lot of millennials feel this way. I'm a millennial. And I definitely feel this way because I'm currently 36 right now. I just turned 36. And we haven't had kids yet. I'm like, Oh, man, should I have done that already? A lot of my life decisions have been off the beaten path. And some of those I've been like, Yeah, that's great. I don't want to be on a path. And then others I'm like, I'm not in a path, but I also don't know where I'm going, and I don't know if I have my own path here. But permission that that's okay. It's okay if you end up in a wheat field of your life and you're like, That's all right. And you don't always have to have a direction. I feel like there's a lot of pressure to always have purpose and meaning and direction and fulfillment and everything. And when you do have that, that's great. But also it's okay to just exist as a human being and be curious about your surroundings and not always know what's coming next.

I mean, really. I can't stop thinking about this thing I learned about history while back. It was like, oh, man, was it in 500 AD? I'm going to have to find the link now to this history channel thing. I read this during the pandemic, right? When I was like, What times were worse than now? And it was talking about how in 500 AD, around that time... Or was it 1500? Listen, I'll drop the link. There was a period of time, excuse me, I think it was 19, 18 months, where there was this big fog mist thing that happened, which was actually a volcanic eruption in Europe that covered Europe. I should really do my research before just talking on my podcast. Anyway, it covered Europe and crops were lost. It was dark. It was dark for 18 months, like dark. Which at the time during the pandemic, I was like, Oh, at least we don't have that. People have had it worse than me, so I can do anything. Oh, shit. Where was I going with this? I'm going to have to pause this podcast and look at my notes. Okay, permission to not follow a path.

We certainly weren't following a path with that little tangent were we, Sarah? Goodness. What I'm saying with that story is reminding me of is the fact that those people had no idea. There was a lot that was not in their control. It was probably pretty hard to think about the future in a positive way. I mean, at that point, how long were these people living? Maybe 30 years old. I don't know, right? But they didn't have a path. This example is a stretch, but you don't always have to have a path. In your life, it's okay if you don't take the path that your family took or that society is pressuring you to take. I mean, it's all so subjective, isn't it? Okay, we're going to move on to the next one. The next one is permission to not want things other people want. Okay, so this is very, very similar. If you don't want what your friends want, if all of your friends... I feel like this happens in our 20s. All my friends are still drinking, and I don't want to drink anymore. Or maybe it's the opposite. I don't know. Or people are traveling the world and I don't want to spend my money that way, or whatever it is, man, you're allowed to want what you want.

You don't need to justify it. I remember being so embarrassed of things that I liked in my life when I was younger. Now I just really do not give enough. I love what I love. I love my hobbies. I love my journals. I still have my Squishmallows. I'm obsessed with dogs. I'm a super nerd about libraries, and I don't need anyone to validate me on that, right? It's cool that there's communities of people that also appreciate those things, but, man, do what you want, like what you like. The next one is, permission to not worry about everything you could be worrying about. Oh, gosh, this is so good. It's so funny when I make a list and then I look at my notes. This is so self-serving to be like, Oh, that's so good. But anyway, permission to not worry about everything that you could be worrying about. This comes back, I mean, the first example, news cycle, right? I feel like we're on this pendulum where for a while, especially during the pandemic, when the media had our attention because we were at home, for those of us that were at home, there was a lot of people that weren't, the media was holding our attention, social media held our attention, right?

There was pressure to know everything about everything that was going on in the world, have an opinion about everything that was going on in the world. I felt this is a business owner and also say something about everything that was going on in the world. If you tried to launch or sell something, and this is a horrible example, but if a volcano erupted in somewhere across the world and several people died and you didn't acknowledge that in your email, it was like you were worried that the pitchforks were coming for you. I just think that was a really interesting time. Every business owner was expected to make a big difference in this huge way, yet that same accountability wasn't there for other things, right? You were still getting emails from Target or Bath and Body Works, selling you wallflower scent sprays, and they weren't getting attacked for still having email campaigns or Facebook ads, right? I just think it's interesting. And I also am growing up and maturing and realizing this thing that it's like there's just no possible way for every human to know everything and worry about everything. And you also... I mean, it comes back to...

It's interesting because we have this global pressure to have a global awareness. But realistically, we have more actionable, tangible influence on a very local level. So it's like pressure to know everything, be a voice for everything around the world, around whatever country you're in, for every group of people. But what are you actually able to impact? It's less. It's little. It's focused. It's local. And I think that's interesting. And so that's where my mind is around more of that stuff. And then also to, okay, at a more personal level, you could be worrying about everything. And as I get older, okay, I notice more and more horrible things that happen to people I know. People get older, people get cancer, people have mental health struggles, people die. That's just a part of life. It is a really rude awakening and acceptance when you see more and more of that in your life. And there is a way to hold compassion and hold space for all those things. And also, right? Yes and, I'm thinking of my friend Laurie here who runs the Improviding Life podcast. She's always talking about yes and-ing things. Yes and, yes.

A family member of mine has cancer, and it is really, really difficult. And I'm also still living and celebrating my life and not feeling guilty about the fact that I have good health right now. Yes, this one part of the world is struggling and suffering, and I can feel bad about that. Maybe I can do something for that. Maybe I can donate. Maybe I can't. Maybe I can do something locally in my community, but also I can still enjoy my life. I can still celebrate my birthday. I can still do things. The world is a constant duality, and I feel like I've spent way too much time on this one, but I hope it's coming across and it makes sense. Okay, we've got three more. The third to last one is, permission to love the busy season. So you're going to have so many seasons in your life and business. You're going to have times where you love being busy with something. I have times where it's a personal hobby or it's a business project where I'm hypermore focused. And from the minute I get up to the minute I go to sleep, all I want to do is work on it.

I'm in the busy season. I want to say no to other things in my life because I want to say yes to this specific thing. And that's okay. You're going to have seasons. You're going to have slow seasons and busy seasons. The importance is honoring your own mental and physical energy capacity and honoring the needs of those around you as applicable to your life. But if you're in the busy season and you love it, permission to love it, right? And permission to enjoy it. Don't feel guilty about being busy or being super productive. I know I talk a lot obviously about how our lives shouldn't be based. We shouldn't feel that pressure to have our lives based on how much we do or the output. We're not machines. But at the same time, if you're enjoying that process, then permission to enjoy it. And the one following this is permission to slow down at any moment. So if you're enjoying the busy season of your life and a quarter of your life, whatever amount of time, and all of a sudden you're like, oh, man, I want to slow down. I need a break. I'm not feeling this right now.

Permission to do that. That's also totally okay. And slowing down and saving life, man, that can happen in so many ways. It can happen literally by taking stuff out of your schedule and off of your plate and literally doing less, seeing less people, watching less things on TV, that can be one way to slow down. But another way to slow down can be putting space in between things. So maybe you're still busy, but you don't rush from one thing to the next, right? Instead of being like, okay, I'm out of the shower, and now I got to just get dressed and go. Maybe it's I'm out of the shower and now I'm going to go sit outside on my patio with my cup of coffee for 15 minutes and watch the birds. Normally, I'd spend that 15 minutes, whatever. Now I'm going to do something different. Slowing down can also mean just incorporating more mindful activities into your days, things that don't make you feel as rushed, so things by nature that just allow your nervous system to slow down, things like reading, nature walks, one on one conversations in person or over the phone, even boxer conversations with friends and family, all of those things allow an elongated time and space, and it's really lovely.

So slowing down can look different. All right, here's the last permission slip for you today, number 11, and that is permission to let go of things when it's time to let go of them. And this is obviously very subjective, and it depends. It reminds me of that song Hold on Loosely. But I always think of there's a moment in time, whether it's a person, a friend, a relationship, something in your life that you're tied to, a physical object, if you're decluttering your house, it could be so many things. There's moments in your life where you're holding on to whatever that thing is, like a rope. You've got it. Not only you're holding on to it like a rope, but there's a knot on the other side of your fist where you're holding it. It's real secure. Even if your fist or your hand were to slip, you'd get caught on that knot, you'd still be holding that rope. That's the beginning of things. Then over time, maybe the knot's not there. Maybe the rope isn't as rough. Maybe it turns into more of a twizzler. You find it's getting thinner and thinner and you find yourself losing your grip, or maybe you're tired of holding it.

Before you know it, whatever it is you're holding feels more like sand running through your fingertips and out of the palm of your hand. It's in that moment where you get to decide, do I want to panic and try to find all the sand that's escaped my hand onto the ground? Or do I want to relish in the fact that that was a part of my life, person, place, or thing, whatever it is. And now it's not. And now it's time to let it go. And this can be also things in your business, too. Sometimes we see business owners retiring courses. Or for me, it was not doing one-on-one coaching anymore. It was just time to let go and move on from that. And a lot of that was because of energy capacity. So there can be circumstances that do that. But when you find peace in evaluating and understanding and accepting when it's time to let things go, it's really lovely. Because you don't have to hold on to everything you've ever experienced in your life and continue to experience it moving forward forever. It's okay to love things the way they were and then move forward.

I really want to get better at that more and more. Wrapping this up nicely, almost at exactly 30 minutes. Those are your 11 permission slips. I hope some of them were helpful. I hope I gave you something, if not a new idea, maybe just a new way of thinking about something. Thank you for listening to the podcast. I'll be back next week with another episode. As always, you can come say hi on Instagram. I'm over @SarahSteckler, and you can always find more resources on mindfulness, productivity, planner publishing, and so much more over at sarahsteckler.com. Have a wonderful week ahead, and I will see you next Monday.