How to Establish Clear Personal Boundaries for Mindful Relationships & Time Management
In this episode, I’ll be sharing the various stages of relationships and friendships, how what we share and our expectations around those things can impact our energy levels, questions to ask yourself as you build new friendships and how to avoid something I call boundary reactivity. I’ll also walk you through the importance of setting solid and foundational personal boundaries and how doing so can boost the effectiveness of your time management.
Memorable Quotes
"As adults we're more established in who we are and what we believe in. Those become factors to who we want to surround ourselves with."
"Making new friends is an investment in your time and your energy. When we meet new people we have to navigate how we are going to establish our personal boundaries, what that's going to look like and we also open ourselves up to being a little bit vulnerable."
"What are the consequences if something you share is not recieved how you want it to be?"
Setting Clear Personal Boundaries for Mindful Relationships & Realistic Time Management
Creating and maintaining personal boundaries is essential for nurturing healthy relationships and managing time effectively. When boundaries are clear, they support mental well-being, help manage energy, and prevent burnout. Here, we explore key strategies for establishing personal boundaries that lead to mindful, intentional living.
Stages of Relationships: Recognizing Boundaries as Relationships Develop
Friendships evolve through different stages, from acquaintances to close connections. As these relationships progress, so does the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries that feel comfortable and authentic. Early in a friendship, boundaries might involve limiting the amount of time and energy invested. As trust and understanding grow, these boundaries may naturally shift and deepen.
Questions to Ask Yourself for Building New Friendships
When forming new friendships, take time to reflect on what you’re seeking. Here are some valuable questions to consider:
What am I looking for in a friend? Clearly defining what’s most important in a friendship—shared interests, reliability, or a sense of humor—will guide you to relationships that bring fulfillment.
What am I willing to give? Friendships are a two-way street, and it’s essential to understand what you’re willing and able to contribute in terms of time, energy, and support.
How does this friendship affect my energy? Regularly assess how spending time with a particular person affects you. Positive friendships will energize and uplift, while draining relationships may signal the need for stronger boundaries.
Avoiding Boundary Reactivity
“Boundary reactivity” is the emotional response that arises when personal boundaries are unknowingly crossed. This often leads to resentment or frustration. To avoid boundary reactivity, be proactive in setting clear boundaries and communicating them openly. When personal boundaries are respected, relationships flourish with less stress and tension.
Establishing Boundaries for Effective Time Management
Personal boundaries don’t just apply to relationships; they’re essential for managing time and productivity as well. Here’s how to create boundaries that support your daily routine:
Clarify Personal Time Needs: Define how much time you need each day to feel refreshed and recharged. If certain activities drain energy, reserve time specifically for re-centering activities like exercise, meditation, or simply relaxing.
Limit Communication Times: Setting specific times to check emails, messages, or social media ensures uninterrupted focus on tasks and prevents overwhelm. Informing colleagues or friends about preferred response times can reduce interruptions and encourage more intentional connections.
Practice Saying ‘No’ with Confidence: Overcommitting often leads to stress and resentment. Give yourself permission to pause and think before responding to requests or invitations. Taking this time to consider how an event or commitment aligns with your current goals makes it easier to decline when necessary.
Creating Space for Reflective Decision-Making
Taking a moment before committing to plans helps maintain energy and peace of mind. Instead of feeling pressured to say “yes” immediately, try responding with, “I need a little time to consider.” This practice allows for a thoughtful decision and empowers you to stay aligned with personal values and goals.
The Impact of Strong Boundaries on Relationships and Productivity
Setting boundaries also sends a powerful message to others about what you need and how you work best. When relationships are built on mutual respect and clear expectations, it strengthens trust and allows each person to show up authentically. Whether at work or with friends, clearly defined boundaries encourage a mindful, sustainable approach to productivity, ultimately leading to greater fulfillment in daily life.
The Value of Mindful Boundaries
Establishing personal boundaries fosters respect, strengthens relationships, and leads to more intentional time management. As life changes, boundaries may need to be reassessed, but doing so ensures that both time and relationships remain aligned with personal goals. Setting boundaries is a powerful step toward a more fulfilling, balanced, and mindful life.
-
You're listening to episode three of the Mindful Productivity Podcast. Today, we're talking about how to establish clear personal boundaries for mindful relationships and realistic time management. In this episode, I'll be sharing the various stages of relationships and friendships, how what we share and our expectations around those things Canva impact our energy levels. Questions to ask yourself as you build new friendships and how to avoid something I call boundary reactivity. I'll also be walking you through the importance of setting solid and foundational personal boundaries and how doing so can boost the effectiveness of your time management.
I am so pumped you're here. Let's get started.
Welcome to the Mindful Productivity Podcast.
I'm your host, Sarah Steckler.
And this is the place to be to live a more mindful and productive life. If you're ready to turn daily chaos into calm and start your days with intention, then get ready to join me as we dive deep into mindful living and personal productivity. It's time to connect with your true self so you can live the life you want to live, and it all starts now.
I was having a conversation with my mum the other day and side note, I talk with my mom pretty much every single day, and there's rarely a time when I leave a conversation with her where I don't feel really inspired or uplifted or I have a new shift in my perspective. I say this because when I was a teenager, I didn't always have the best relationship with my mom. I was really difficult to deal with, and there's really not a day that goes by that I'm not really grateful for that relationship.
I just wanted to share that because I'm trying to work on sharing more of my gratitude in general. And it's also just kind of an inspiring reminder that relationships shift and change. And just because a relationship in your life hasn't been going the way you want it to in a particular moment doesn't mean that it can't shift or change in the future. We're all continually changing and adapting. But anyway, I bring this up because we were having a conversation and we were talking a lot about friendships, and both of us have had some pretty dramatic shifts recently in the last year.
Within our lives, we both went through some things that were really tough. We both came out of them. And while they're completely different experiences, we were talking about friendships. And there's chapters in our lives where we either kind of remove ourselves from past friendships or relationships or we find ourselves really changed and looking for new relationships. And we were talking about when you're getting to know new people and sometimes how something can feel off and you're not quite sure what it is. And then you start wondering, Is it something I'm doing?
Is it something weird about them? And more often than not, it has to do with a personal boundary issue. And oftentimes this weird sneaking feeling is actually a sign from your intuition or your higher self or deeper knowing that there's a personal boundary of yours that you were not aware of before that is being tested or tried. Or maybe there's something coming forward that you just weren't aware of before. So today I really want to talk about the importance of setting clear personal boundaries not only within your current relationships, but also when you're starting new ones and what that really looks like.
So let's go ahead and start there. I think there's a bunch of different stages when we enter into a new relationship and especially new friendships. And just a side note, I'm going to be really focusing on friendships here in this episode. I think a lot of the things that I will be discussing could totally be paralleled with more romantic type relationships as well. But I really want to focus on friendships because there's a lot of information out there about starting new relationships and stuff like that.
But I don't always find stuff about starting new friendships. And I think that's because I don't want to say a stigma. But there's almost this feeling that once you reach a certain age, new friendships aren't as much of a thing. I remember my first week at College, and it was during communication class, and my instructor said to the whole class, I think there was like probably 150 of us, he said, before we even get going on the curriculum, I just have to tell you this is the only time in your life that you will be surrounded by people that are all your age, where 90% of them are single, where most people are sexually active and everyone seems to be incredibly attractive.
He was like, make sure that you make the most of your experience in College. And I laughed and we all laughed. But looking back, it's really true. And I mean, the same thing can be said for friendships, right? It becomes harder. I think in different ways when we're adults to have friends or make new friends because first of all, that's a belief. And you could call out that that's partly a limiting belief. But I think there are some realistic factors that play there, too. For example, we're more established in who we are and what we believe in.
And so those become factors to who we want to surround ourselves with. Right? And that's not a bad thing. And that's not to say that you can't be friends that share different values and beliefs. In fact, I think it's important to have a wide variety of connection with people that do have a variety of beliefs from yours, right? That's how we learn and grow. But with that being said, it can be hard because we have a lot more things going on. When I was in high school, apart from working a part time job some nights after school, most days if I didn't have a basketball practice or something like that.
I had free time and everyone else had free time. You'd get back from for winter break and everyone would be home. And we'd all hang out in my friend's basement and watch a bunch of reality TV and eat too much sugar. We all were free. And as you get older, it's like different people are making different life choices. Different people have different priorities. You get where I'm going with this. It's always like, everyone's busy, right? And I always make this joke with people. I think I saw this the other day.
Actually, it was some kind of meme about how the next time you see someone an acquaintance and they say, hey, we should really hang out sometime. Just say, hey, I'm free now and watch them panic. And I laugh because it's so true. We have all these niceties and these things that we say. But taking a chance on a new friendship when you're more into your adult life feels like a bigger risk, mainly because it's an investment in your time and your energy. And when we meet new people, we have to navigate how we are going to establish our personal boundaries.
What that's going to look like? And we also open ourselves up to being a little bit vulnerable. One thing, too, when we meet a new person is that and this was something I was really guilty of in my early 20s was that if I found someone new that I really, really liked, I would jump into that friendship really fast. And so today I want to talk not only about the different stages and types of friendships and relationships that we can have, but also questions to consider and ask yourself as you dive deeper, even with current friendships and really establishing how much energy you want to put into certain places and what your expectations really are.
When we meet new people, they usually start off as an acquaintance, whether they're a colleague or a friend or someone we meet at yoga or for me, it's like sometimes I will see a random chick at Costco that has blue hair and is wearing something that's like, oh, my gosh, that's something I totally stand for. I'm really passionate about. And I want to run up to her and be like, hey, you want to be friends. And I'm very socially awkward sometimes, but you can't always do that.
Right? So my point is that there are different levels and stages when we go into friendships, and sometimes we're not always aware of them. Or sometimes we have a tendency to skip phases of beginning to know somebody. I think that that's very common when we're younger, too, or when we meet someone that we want to be romantically involved with. We automatically want to jump to the phase where there's this deep connection. So sometimes we share a lot of personal stuff up front. And sometimes that really leads to a deep connection.
And sometimes it kind of bites us and it's like, oh, maybe that was too soon. So it's really kind of being aware of that. And that's where I'll start with this is when you do meet someone new, it's important to take note of how you are currently feeling and what you're seeking. How much are you willing to share with this new person about yourself? And there's nothing wrong with pacing yourself and giving a little bit and receiving a little bit. And like testing the waters and seeing how it goes.
And it's worth considering with what you will share, what are the consequences if it's not received, how you want? So if you meet a new friend and there's something about yourself that is really personal to you, and when you have shared it with people in the past with friends now, maybe they tend to be super compassionate and super understanding. And you have to ask yourself with a new person if I do share this about myself and it's not only maybe not received well, but maybe they don't give me the feedback or the support I'm expecting or assuming of them, what will those consequences be?
Will I feel hurt? Will I feel ashamed? Will I feel resentful and more often than not, when I think about sharing things with other people, I'm like, Well, if this doesn't go the way I think it will will that completely devastate me? And if it does, then I sometimes feel like maybe I need to spend a little bit more time internally digesting this myself and observing it before I go out into the world before I share it with other people. Also, consider, too, like, what are you looking for within this relationship within this friendship?
Are you looking for someone that is more of like a fun friend where you go to events or you do something together or you volunteer together? Or maybe they are the person that you work with and you get drinks with after work. It's worth considering what you're looking for and also two to not project a certain type of friendship onto a certain person when you meet them? Because a lot of times we'll meet people and we might be thinking, oh, my gosh, this person could be this in my life.
And while that's exciting and awesome that you feel that way, I think it's really important both for you and that person to be mindful and see how it goes and see what comes up and also to consider, too, not just what you're looking for, but what are you willing to give? And how can you also be a good friend to this other person? I think a lot of times we come at building new relationships from this place of what can I get or what is this person going to give me?
And I think it's a healthier way to look at that. It's like, what can we build together? What can we share together? What can I support them into and also taking a look at your energy, and this really comes back to personal boundaries. If you're in a place in your life right now where the thought of someone calling you and asking you to go do something on a Friday would just annoy you because you have so much going on, then you're probably not in a place for a new friendship at that time.
And there's nothing wrong with saying I'm not in a place in my life right now for making more commitments right now. I think we have a hard time saying no. We worry about disappointing other people. But I will tell you right now the more upfront and honest you can be with people, the better it's going to be in the long run, because if you start showing up for someone out of resentment, if you start supporting someone or listening to someone that's going through something, and every time you do and every word they speak, you find yourself checking your phone or looking at your watch or being like, oh, I've been here for 45 minutes, and I'd rather be at home or I told somebody else I'd be somewhere and you're constantly feeling that way.
You're not really serving that person. And you're also taking up that space, that space for someone else who could really be that support to that person. And that's something to really think about, too, because I think sometimes we feel guilty if we say no to other people and we establish our personal boundaries or we say, I can't be that support for you right now, or however you want to say it depending on the situation. We think sometimes we assume that we're the only thing that that person has or the only person.
And while that's worth considering, it's also worth considering what happens if I do step to the side, who does that allow to come forward? It's like I had this great professor in College up in Bellingham, and I think it was actually the same guy that made the comment the first week I was there about this is the time find your people. And he would ask questions to the class, and then he would really wait for a response. And sometimes it would be kind of long. And he would say the reason why he did that is because too many times in lectures, professors will ask a question, does anyone have questions?
Okay, cool. Moving on. And he would always hold a little bit of extra space for people that were hesitating or to kind of really digest what he was saying to be able to raise their hand. And every time he did this, sometimes nobody said anything, but more often than not, after just a little bit extra time, a little bit of extra space of silence. Somebody might slowly raise their hand and he'd be like, oh, good. What do you have and that's the thing about friendships and relationships, too, is sometimes we worry about not playing a specific role in somebody's life, especially if they're like a new friend, that if that person has a gap of time, that they're going to just fall apart.
And there's definitely times when things are really serious and we do need to really help people. But there are often times when what people really need is a little bit of space, so that that next person who's hesitating can raise their hand, so to speak and step forward for that person. So it's really important to consider what your energetic availability, your mental availability is currently for people before you dive in and again, just to really hit that point home, too. If someone you know is struggling with something, you have to ask yourself, how much are you willing and able to show up without damaging your own energy levels, by still being able to put yourself first, by still being able to take care of yourself so that you can help that person.
If you're in a place where you're just really trying to get through every hour of every day, then you might not be in the place for that person. And also, too, as we meet new people, and as we establish personal boundaries with people, we have to remember that not everyone we meet has to be everything for us. There's this notion, and I think it's fun to blame stuff on media. But I remember watching Grey's Anatomy, and I remember being like, wow, that is what a best friend is between Miranda and I'm blanking on her name right now, and it was like because they did everything together and they'd always be like, You're my person.
I think, too. And maybe this is more common with women. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, too, but I feel like we have this assumption that we need a best friend. And I think some people find that. But I also think that sometimes we try to make someone into everything, and this can happen with long term friendships, friends that you've been friends with for years, a decade, decades, more than that, things can be going along fine. And then there can be something tragic that happens or something that one of you, like, the two of you goes through, and that can bring you closer together.
And then it can deepen the relationship, and it feels awesome. But it can also create this notion that, oh, my gosh, maybe this person is the person I tell everything to. And I just think it's important sometimes to consider diversifying our relationships and our boundaries with people because there isn't one person that can really be everything. No one else in our lives. We can't make anyone else responsible for our happiness or our wellbeing, we have to really show up and do that for ourselves. But when you come to this realization that one person won't necessarily be everything for you.
It kind of takes some tension and some pressure off, too, right? Because not only are you not looking to this person to play this really big role, but then they're also going to feel that, too. They're going to feel that shift of, oh, my gosh, that's nice. I don't feel like I have to show up or be this certain kind of person for you. I can just be myself. And that's ultimately what's great about friendships and establishing personal boundaries with people is being able to show up for people and not have these huge, unrealistic expectations in line with that.
I also want to talk about going slower so that you can be more intentional. And when you do go slower into cultivating new friendships, you really are able to set the pace and figure out your personal boundaries. And this is something that we have to revisit constantly. We come up with personal boundaries when we're 16, when we're 21, when we're 25, when we're 35, whatever. But they're constantly changing because our needs are constantly changing. Our life. Circumstances are constantly changing, and we have to really be aware that our personal boundaries, by default, are going to also shift.
So in the past, when I got excited about a new person and I've kind of alluded to this, I tended to kind of rush into the friendship. I would think, oh, my gosh, this is my person. I would make a lot of assumptions along the way, and what would end up happening is that I get really close with this person. We both be close. And then if we both did have a big difference in opinion about something, instead of viewing it as an opportunity to learn and grow with this person, sometimes I'd end up being totally thrown off or I'd take it really personally, or I'd feel super hurt because I didn't see it coming.
And that's because I skipped some steps in building that friendship. I skipped some steps in getting to know someone and getting to know more about them and what I'm comfortable with. And I think that's really important. And what I call this experience is boundary reactivity. So it's kind of like when we realize that a personal boundary of ours that we weren't even aware of is kind of pushed or stepped over. We have this automatic reactive response where we can feel really resentful, where we can feel really hurt.
And so the more you are aware of your own personal boundaries and what that looks like at this point in your life, the less likely you're going to experience boundary reactivity because you're going to avoid the resentment and you're going to better be able to respond when personal boundaries are crossed or when they're about to be that you're now aware of. And I think that's so important. I run an indepth course within my membership site, the Mindful Productivity Hub. It's a self care assessment and basically within there we go through different areas of self care and what that looks like.
And one of them is personal boundaries. And it's huge, right? It's something so many people overlook. And one example I give in one of the lectures in there is that setting personal boundaries is a lot like performing on stage in a theater, because if we don't have things in place, like, if we don't have a start time and go with me on this analogy, right, visualize it with me if we don't have a start time to our performance, if we don't have a time and a date set, if we don't say what the maximum occupancy is of the theater, if we don't have ushers telling people where to sit, if we don't Bella people how to buy tickets or where to sit to get the best experience, then doing that performance is going to be really stressful.
And chances are you're not going to be able to do it or something's going to go wrong or people are going to be distracted. It's like, can you imagine going to a play? And people are just, like, out of their seats on their cell phones, walking behind stage, getting up on the stage, trying to perform themselves, like doing all these things that would be a nightmare. And then other people that actually were taking the performance seriously would be pissed. They'd be like, what is going on here?
This is chaos. And when we set personal boundaries, it's very similar. When we set strong foundational personal boundaries in our lives, we are telling people, hey, I'm showing up right now. This is my true self. I'm showing up. This is my stage. And if you sit right here and if you get here at this time, you're going to love it, you're going to get to see me acting and being and showing up and performing as my true self. And not only that, but you're really going to enjoy it a lot more than if you didn't do that.
And it's like, if you go to the movie theater and someone's messing around on their phone or like, talking on their phone or yelling, sometimes people a natural come in there and be like, you got to leave. My husband and I were at a movie. I think it was like, the second Anchorman movie. And this guy behind us was super drunk and climbed over the seat and fell on my husband. Luckily, my husband was pretty chill about it, but he was like, Man, this guy needs to leave.
He needs to leave the theater. Like, this is out of control. And personal boundaries are so much the same way, because if we're not clear with our personal boundaries and how we need other people to be, then we can't do it. Now. As I'm saying, this example, you might be thinking, Well, it's not all about me or it's not all about you. And you're absolutely correct. But what happens when we do set personal boundaries is people then have more of a choice and they know what to expect from you, and then they know how to really serve you as a good friend or colleague or what have you?
Because if you say, hey, performance is happening tonight, it's at 08:00 p.m.. And I'm going to be talking about this and there's going to be root beer there, and that's it. Then people that don't like root beer than people that don't want to go somewhere at night, they don't have to go. The more we are true to ourselves and establish our personal boundaries, the more we will attract people that we want and need in our lives. What's the point of attracting a bunch of people to a show you're doing that hate root beer that hate being out past 08:00 p.m. And that really don't like sitting in a theater for more than an hour.
You're going to get a bunch of booze. You're going to get people complaining, you're going to feel really awful about yourself for doing something you love, and that is the same way with personal boundaries. It's the same exact thing in so many ways. And the more that you can really do that, the more that you can allow yourself to say no and be comfortable with saying no, the more that you can say to even saying to friends, I really support what you're doing and your type of performance.
But that's not something I like going to. In fact, it makes me anxious or drives me and saying, I just can't do it. There's nothing wrong, too, with saying that you can't be in compliance, so to speak, with somebody else's personal boundary. And it's worth considering that if there's something going on with you that's really like an all or nothing type of thing, and someone in your life says I Canva do that or I'm not comfortable doing that. Then we also have to respect that, too.
And it's worth considering. I think I could ramble on about this forever. But I also do want to get to this next point, and it kind of ties in here what absolutely ties in about how setting these foundational and really solid personal boundaries will also affect your time and your ability to manage your time management effectively, because here's the thing, whether it's at work, whether it's in your personal life, the more clear you are on your personal boundaries, the better you're going to be able to be effective with your time management and really have that space for yourself.
So here's what it looks like from this angle. So you have to be clear on what you want and what you want to accomplish, what that looks like so that you can set clear boundaries that make sense around it. So, for example, if Sundays is your time because you like to take a bubble bath and read a book and maybe go on a walk or maybe Bake something or try a new recipe. That's awesome. And maybe that requires that your roommates leave or that you say no to an invitation or whatever.
Like, maybe you have an agreement with the people you live with or no, whatever. If you're not clear on how much actual time you need for that, then you're going to have a really hard time managing your personal boundaries. You're going to have a really hard time saying no, because if someone says, hey at 02:00 p.m. On Sunday, I want to do this, and you're not sure how much time you really want and need to feel kind of like to have that time, then it's going to be really wishy washy and confusing for everybody.
And there's going to be resentment somewhere. So knowing how much time things actually take and this applies to work, too. And I will say for the longest time, both at work and both in my personal life, for the longest, longest time, when somebody would ask me something whether it was, can you do this, or do you want to go to this event with me? There was like this part of me that would sometimes feel panicked if I wasn't sure. And I would assume that I'd have to give this solid yes or no answer right then, right there.
So most of the time I would just say yes, sure, I'll be there or put on this face of super excitement. And it wasn't that I wasn't excited. But I was definitely unsure about whether or not I really wanted to go or could go or could afford to go to something. I also was assuming that saying no meant being rude or saying no meant that they would think I didn't care. And none of those things were true. And one thing I will tell you right now, this was really a life changing realization for me.
Maybe you're already on top of it, and you know this. But if not, here's the thing, man. I hope I really want to hit this home. It is totally okay, acceptable and not rude to say, I need some time to think about my response to that. I want to repeat that. It is totally okay. When someone asks you a question about something that affects you and your personal boundaries and your time, it's totally okay to say I'm not sure yet. I need a moment to think about that.
Boom. It's so life changing, because what then happens is in those moments, what's happening is there is a part. There's something coming forward, whether it's a personal boundary or maybe it's just like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what's going on with my calendar. It gives you an opportunity to self reflect and check back in and then give an answer that not only serves you but best serves that other person right. It comes back to what we were talking about a little earlier in this podcast.
How much energy do you have available to give to another person or another circumstance or another outing? You've got to be aware of that. So here's a couple of other things to consider when it comes to your personal boundaries and time management. So not only knowing how long things actually take and knowing that you can say, I don't know or knowing that you can say I need to think about it is also really making sure that you're not checking things every moment and letting others know that you're not doing that either.
And when I say checking things, I mean email. I mean social media, I mean text messages, voicemails, all different kinds of communication. And it depends on your job. But there's really no reason that any boss should expect you to be checking your email every 30 seconds. Now, if you work in an industry that deals with emergency situations, then that's completely different. If you're thinking of something that completely disqualifies what I just said. Cool. I totally don't doubt it. But you have to ask yourself, does checking different forms of communication constantly really serve you or anyone else?
First of all, you're not going to be able to get much done. Second of all, it also shows to other people that you are always going to respond immediately, and people will show up and react and respond to how you respond to them. And in so many ways, part of having really strong personal boundaries is for lack of a better term, training other people, how we do things and how to respond to us, too. It's a give and take. So if you say, hey to your boss, I work best when I can work in Pomodoros or which are like segments of Walked Out time.
And I only check my email every hour or once every other hour. And that's really what works best for me. I'm able to get more done and then letting your colleagues know that too. Like, hey, sometimes I don't respond for a little bit. This is why that is so important. It's also important telling them to friends. Sometimes I will go for a run or something. I'll get back and my phone is blown up with all these messages and people kind of get in their own heads and get upset.
Why didn't you respond right away or oh my gosh, you must think that what I just said was awful and it's like, no, I just wasn't here or I just wasn't checking that or actually don't check that messaging platform that often, or I only get on there on Wednesdays and check it. There's something wrong with that, but really getting clear on how often you're checking things. So along with that, it's setting solid times that you are going to do things setting personal boundaries around that. Are you going to check social media, like, whenever you think about it or are you going to have certain times of day that you do it for a certain amount of time?
Setting solid times for when you do check things and when you do check in with people is really important and that it allows you to really be intentional with your time and everything that you're doing. Another thing when it comes to personal boundaries and managing your own time is getting clear on how much personal time you really need to feel recharged for me. And I mentioned this in the beginning. Welcome episode podcast. I really am an introverted extrovert, which means I'm totally social and outgoing when I'm out doing things, but I really need so much time alone to recharge, and it's really getting clear on what that looks like and how much personal time you really need not only every day and every week, but also kind of like moment to moment when things certain things happen or come up for you during the day, or you do feel stressed or anxious or anything like that.
Really, knowing how much time and what you need to do to kind of reground and recenter yourself is really vital to being able to set those personal boundaries and really just feel good and aligned and in control and have this agency and ownership about your own self care that can kind of be overlooked otherwise. So really take time. My challenge for you this week, too, is not only to consider your personal boundaries and what they look like now, maybe how they need to shift, but also to really get clear on what you need every week to feel grounded and recharged.
We also talked about getting comfortable with saying no, and ultimately too, what I want to touch on is that when boundaries are crossed, what it's really doing is it's showing us that something about what we need or want is being challenged or there's something that we weren't aware about ourselves that's coming forward. And so when personal boundaries do feel awkward or something's shifting within your relationships or with just people in general, it can be really easy to start feeling instantly resentful or instantly get mad at other people.
And depending on the situation, you might be warranted to smack someone in the face. But it's really important to notice that for the most part, I like to think most people aren't trying to be malicious. They're not trying to overstep your personal boundaries. They just aren't aware of them. And sometimes people overstep. And it's really because it's really an opportunity for us to be like, oh, wow. I didn't know this about myself or there's something off. Maybe there's something I need to revisit. The last thing I want to say today, you guys, is when we do realize that there is a new personal boundary for ourselves, it's important to realize that there's going to be a time of adjustment not only for ourselves, but with everyone around us.
I'll give you an example, the only one I can think of off the top of my head. But when I was a teenager, I went back and forth between my mom and my dad's house after they were divorced. And for the most part, I go over to my dad's house, and he was really chill, and he didn't have a whole lot of rules. But at one point, it's like he kind of had something snap in his head. And he was, like, really fed up with the fact that nobody was cleaning.
Nobody was ever chipping into cleaning the house. And so this one afternoon, my brother and I were over there for the weekend, and it was like, I don't understand why nobody's vacuuming the stairs. And I don't understand why all this stuff isn't happening. And we were both like, what? I didn't know, that that's what you wanted. And I think similar things happened, too. In relationships. I can think of countless examples in my head where suddenly I decided I wanted something different around the house or how our relationship was working with my husband.
And I would just be like, Why do you do this? You never do this right. And it's like coming out of nowhere. So the point is, when you do realize that a personal boundary has shifted in you or is about to, it's important to take time to reflect on it yourself and really get clear on what it means, what it looks like and how you will voice it to other people, because that can really make or break aspects of our relationships. And the more able you are to be to have that inner self awareness and speak your truth with intention and respect and feel comfortable doing so and have that confidence the better received it will be.
Thanks so much for listening to this week's episode of The Mindful Productivity Podcast. It would mean so much to me if you've been enjoying this podcast so far. If you go ahead and take just a few moments to leave a review. This allows other people to find the podcast, and it also is a great way to let me know. Hey, he's doing this. Sometimes we need that encouragement. Thanks again for listening. And I'd love to hear your comments and your insights about what you heard today on the podcast.
Mindful Mindful Productivity Podcast share your Insights leave a comment and also find your free printable guide to note, taking and tracking your insights with this podcast. Thanks so much for listening, and I'll see you next time.
